Aimercat (aimercat) wrote,

Dan Uggla & the realities of LASIK

I came across some Atlanta Braves fans on Twitter implying that Dan Uggla was a "pussy" for hitting the DL after LASIK surgery. As someone who has had the surgery, I know the hard part isn't the little 15 minute procedure, but the 2-6 weeks afterwards.

A little bit of the backstory (if you want it)

The first 24 hrs: You're pretty much learning to see as your eyes adjust to being fixed. They sting like hell. Mine seriously felt like someone just ground an onion into my eyes and then maced me for good measure (without the horrid smell…though the smell of my scorching corneas was still pretty fresh in my short-term memory). You barely sleep because you've got protective breathable shields taped to your face and you have to try your best to stay sleeping on your back.

The next 1-2 weeks: You go back about 24 hrs after you get zapped and the dr replaces your taped-on shields with what appears to be swim goggles, only they have holes in the sides so your eyes can breathe at night and you get to sleep with those every night for the next 7-14 days. Your eyes itch a lot and you can't scratch or touch them….sometimes, you think it will drive you insane. You always have to be careful when you shower/wash your face to not rub your eyes inward (against the grain so to speak because you can rip your "eye flaps" open). This is also worse if you're a chick because you can't wear eye makeup either. You also don't want anyone coming near your face because 1 bump to the eye and you can screw everything up. I was working in a busy, but apathetically-staffed restaurant at the time & I clearly remember walking through the place tray of drinks in one hand & using my other hand to shield my face. You certainly don't want a 96mph fastball coming up and in at you in Dan Uggla's case.

week 3-6: Still cautious about your eye area because 1 bump and you might have problems. Personally, I booked my first 1000 Ways to Die episode at the end of my 2nd post-op week and I had to be clear and specific with the makeup artist about my situation (she was great with it). Of course, wouldn't you know it, about halfway into my 3rd week (right when I could start wearing eye makeup again) i poked myself in the eye with a mascara wand, had a total freakout, called my surgeon because I was paranoid (you would be too if you just spent $5000 on your sight) and he reassured me I was fine (he's still amazed at how great my results were & how fast I healed…I have Wolverine Adrian Petersen eyeballs apparently)

So if you're thinking about calling an athlete a pussy for what appears to be a "simple" 15-minute procedure, yeah….might want to rethink that.
Tags: baseball, sports
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