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This was supposed to be the year I finally applied to be in the Major League Baseball Fan Cave. it's truly a once in a lifetime experience if you get picked. MLB basically pays for you to live in NYC for the entire baseball season while you watch every single inning of every single baseball game in their "cave" that sits in the middle of SoHo. You also interact with the players, go to events (like spring training & the all-star game) and every now and then, you end up on the MLB Network or the Fox pre-game show.

Several people tell me that I'm perfect for it and it's part of the reason that I've been building up my Twitter followers with a lot of baseball-type peeps. I didn't apply last year because of everything with my dad's passing and I was sure that I was ready for it this year. As I've been learning in my class, though, sometimes the universe has bigger plans for us.

For me, this means not applying this year. I am at a critical point in my relationship with Brendan & in my life. If I got picked, but lost him in the process because I was on the other side of the country unable to work on things face to face, it would mean nothing to me. I would've worked so hard for something only to lose the one thing that is even more important to me: love & companionship. It would be a hollow victory. The hot dogs would be bland, the peanuts & cracker jack flavorless. Every root root root for the home time would be a painful reminder of what I sacrificed.

So for now, I will focus on the important things and start my plan of attack for next year's application: blogging about games, not over tweeting, perfecting video making so I have the best audition video ever and just loving the game from the comfort of my couch, the sports bar or the stadium seats I snagged on StubHub.