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Let's play catch up with Amy

Where do I begin? I tend not to write on a regular basis anymore, so things happen and I post about them on Facebook and Twitter, but not into great detail. I feel like I need to get back to writing, so hopefully this can kick start things in a better direction.

-Acting/modeling wise: i've been going on mostly commercial auditions. I booked a commercial for EA Sports NHL 2013 video game. I have a callback on Monday for a commercial that films in Argentina (omg, please let me get this. I've wanted to go to Argentina ever since I saw Evita in the 90s). I broke my own "never do extra work" rule for a very RARE exception: working on a Disney film (that's all I can tell you about it. I had to sign a non-disclosure agreement). Of course, gaining some weight has put the kibosh on trying to find a new modeling agent. I'm supposed to be putting myself on video for a fashion show audition next week and I am not looking forward to putting a bikini on for it. i'm working on a couple actor-produced projects to FINALLY have a demo reel since I can't figure out how to get my clips from 1000 Ways to Die off of my DVR.
-As for the weight problem, I've been in and out of doctor's offices ever since my dad passed away in Oct of 2011. One doctor says IBS, another one says GERD, another one says I have a bad gallbladder, another one anxiety/depression, another one says it's because I have messed up abdominal muscles. All I know is that I've never had stomach problems in my life (other than when I stupidly ate a 7-11 jalapeño hot dog at 3am while drunk) and suddenly I was on like 9 different drugs at one point to control anxiety, depression, stomach acid and to insure I went to the bathroom properly. I don't understand how you go from never having a problem whatsoever to being on like the strongest stomach acid reducer possible and having 1 of your ribs constantly popping in and out. Also, considering I have no insurance, I was at the mercy of the free county clinic where I'm treated like I'm an uneducated idiot (granted the majority is uneducated, but it's just ridiculous how you're treated there). I don't even have that now because I made too much money this year, so they cut off my eligibility. Lovely predicament we have in this county…make too much to qualify for free health care, but still don't make enough to be able to afford health insurance. Tons of blood test and even 2 ultrasounds and no one ever found out what is really wrong with me. All I know is that i'm almost constantly nauseous if I go more than a couple hours without eating (which has resulted in some lovely weight gain of almost 20 lbs) and I burp a lot. My rib on my right side also continues to pop when i twist too. I'm so ashamed of this weight gain. I feel disgusting and it's taking it's toll on my self-esteem. I swore I would never be over 150 lbs and now I'm teetering dangerously close to that number. Nothing I do seems to get rid of it either.
-if you haven't seen on Facebook or twitter, I have a new kitten. Her name is Phoenix because Brendan and I found her on what would've been Niedermayer's bday. She is our little phoenix rising. She's a black kitty who barely weighed a pound when we found her. She was so dirty it took 30 minutes of shampooing her and running her under the sink to get the water to run clean. She is becoming quite the sweet little kitty. She is about 5 months old and she is already 1/2 the size of Ralph (Brendan's 5-yr old dog). She soft paws when she plays and just got her big cat fangs. it was so weird when she was teething and had two sets of fangs. (I never noticed that with Niedermayer…probably because I was a crazy college kid that never thought about it).
-As I posted before, I'm playing fantasy football again and having some success. right now i'm first in my division after a last-minute win over Brendan's team last week. I feel so bad for him. He traded with me so I could get Aaron Rodgers back as my QB and his team has stunk ever since.
-I'm still working in a sports bar, but I feel like I'm in another situation where I'm never going to be allowed to move up to bartender like I want. Plus, not having health insurance kinda really sucks. otherwise, it's a great job that gives me moderate flexibility with auditions. The regulars are awesome, the clientele is usually great. I can't really complain because i'm able to pay my bills and have a little extra cash.
-I was a bridesmaid for the first time in my life when my friend Tina got married in Florida a couple of weeks ago. I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't a little jealous. I met Brendan before she started dating her now-husband and well, we are closer to separate apartments than we are a ring. I had to excuse myself more than a couple times from her reception to go have some crying moments in the bathroom. The hardest part was her father/daughter dance because I will never be able to have that moment. I am glad that she considered me a good enough friend to bestow such an honor on me though and it was great to see her. Another highlight of the trip was my rental car: a brand new cherry red Fiat. So much fun to drive.
-Now on to the topic of Brendan and I. What can I say? Our relationship kinda sucks )but I'd like to think it's finally getting better). I pretty much had to spend last week begging him to extend our apartment lease and to work on us just one last time. Things haven't been great for us & he even left for a while and stayed with one of his friends for almost a month (he would stop by here a couple times a week to check on Ralph or pick up more clothes). We fight a lot, usually because one of us is stubborn about something. He hates that I tweet and Facebook as much as I do. Sometimes, i'll admit, I'm not as grateful as I should be for the fact that he has put his life on hold for about a year to take care of me when I was really super duper sick and dealing with the loss of my dad. i'm sure that has led to some resentment. All I know is that the clock is running….3 months. it's do or die time for us. This week has been a lot better, but I sometimes wonder if too much damage has happened for it to be repaired in such a short time. A case of too little too late. I hope that isn't the case because I want so much for him to be "the one". he gets me…he really does. he makes me laugh but at the same time calls me on my BS. He's really trying though…he renewed our Disneyland passes, arranged for some fun date things for us (like Clippers-Cavs game on Monday), so hopefully that's a good sign.

That's pretty much a low down of what's been going on lately. Now let's put all of our good vibes together so my relationship with Brendan will get better and that I book this commercial so I can go to Argentina (and probably get murdered by my boss for needing more time off of work).

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
moonwych
Nov. 4th, 2012 04:02 am (UTC)
I'm glad you found another kitty. She sounds like a cutie (I love black cats). I hope things work out for you. I'm sending positive thoughts your way. (hug)
ledbylove
Nov. 4th, 2012 04:03 pm (UTC)
I am rooting so hard for you and Brendan, sweetie. I really hope it works out!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )