Aimercat (aimercat) wrote,

open letter to the stupidest thief in Los Angeles

Dear stupidest criminal in Los Angeles:

Congratulations on extracting my Sirius radio from the top of my dash sometime between Friday night and Saturday morning. By the looks of your actions, you are clearly a prime candidate should Fox or Tru tv decide to make another "World's Dumbest Criminals" type show.

let's take a moment to analyze your qualifications for such an honor:
1. To start, little did you know that you snagged a radio that was on its last legs. the whole reason that it camped out on top of my dash night after night is because you could no longer detach the unit and have it work when you reattached it due to a short in the radio. well eventually it would work, after about 30 or 40 minutes of jiggling the wires around & messing with the connection to the radio. Good luck with that.
2. Recently, the radio developed another short in the display, so you couldn't always see what station the radio was tuned to. I had my presets memorized so again, good luck with that.
3. the remote for the radio stopped working at least 3 years ago. maybe your stupidity is due to your gifted psychic powers as you left the remote in the middle console untouched, along with money, sunglasses and some CDs. you are so stupid, you can't even ransack a car properly. go big or go home. I'm laughing at your amateur abilities. in fact, now we all are. you can thank me for that.
4. you obviously don't know how a Sirius SATELLITE radio or this amazing discovery called a magnet work. You see, a satellite radio needs a special antenna that is held on the roof of the car by a magnet. Now, instead of popping my trunk and removing the magnet antenna from my car, you popped my trunk and cut the wire to the antenna. good luck using a radio without an antenna...that will cost you about $40-50 for a new one....and $50 more to get someone to install it which you will probably have to do since your limited cranial capacity will prohibit you from installing it yourself.
5. Finally, I sure do hope that you go through all the trouble to attempt to install and use this radio that you have obtained via illegal means. The really fun part (at least for me, probably not you so much) will be when you attempt to activate the radio. Oh my dearest dummy, Sirius is a PAID subscription and each individual radio is registered by serial number to each subscriber, so I instantly reported it stolen along with filing a police report. Since you are a mental midget, let me explain what this means. it means that when you call to activate the radio (or the person you sell it to), Sirius will GLADLY take your information. they won't really activate your radio, though, they will toss your information over to the authorities. Have fun with that. you basically have a useless broken radio now. my advice would be to just give it to a 4-yr old (who is probably already MILES ahead of you on the IQ scale) and let them play pretend. Congratulations on stealing a worthless item.

Someone who is way smarter than you.

ps: did I mention that I can still listen to all the Sirius I want thru my phone?

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Tags: los angeles, via ljapp
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