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2011 in Questions

I used to do this at the end of every year and then I got out of the habit because I stopped blogging as much. I'm feeling inspired by my beloved friend (and someone who I really turned to as a voice of experience this year) Bonnie Gillespie and her "done dicking around" mantra.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Don't even get me started on all the AWESOME fancy restaurants that I ate at this year: Tom Collichio's Craft, like 3 Top Chef restaurants, Napa Rose and some other smaller places. Let's see I also went to baseball spring training and caught a major league foul ball (i'd previously snagged a minor league ball during batting practice). Moved in with a boyfriend. On a sad note, I also had to witness putting a pet to sleep for the first time, felt the pain of losing a parent and made my first ER visit as an adult. Oh yeah...i became SAG-eligible and did standup comedy for the first time.

2. Did you keep your 2011 resolutions? Will you make resolutions for 2012?
I don't recall. I know we were going to try to do P90x and well that lasted for about a month and then went out the window when Brendan's back started being a bitch and then I started having a mystery groin pain as well.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not personally close to me per se, but Brendan became an uncle.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
that's an understatement. This was the freaking year of the Grim Reaper and I hate it. In fact, I STARTED the year on a down note with the death of one of my very first Los Angeles friends, Chris Ellis on the morning of New Years Eve. Early 30s and he passed away in his sleep . Then I lost my beloved Niedermayer kitty to cancer in April which I thought was the hardest thing I'd ever done. I already knew that Brendan was a keeper, but it sealed the deal when he stayed with Nieder until the very end when I made the difficult decision to put him to sleep (Brendan sent me out of the room before the vet did the final injection). Then my father lost his battle with cancer at the end of October and that was even harder than Niedermayer. Finally, just a month after my father passed away, his best friend (who was in poor health & I was always visit when I was home) passed away as well. I am just blessed that my best friend Kelly escaped death when she walked away practically unscathed after rolling her car on the 134 after some jackass ran in her into the middle divider.

5. What countries did you visit?
just the country of my people...the country of White Trashia (and I took Brendan there to experience as well)

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
fun, happiness without wondering when the rug will be yanked from underneath me, successful career momentum and MOTIVATION...I allowed anxiety and depression to rule my world too often.

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
April 6th and October 25th...the 2 days that cancer reared its ugly head and took pieces of my heart and soul with it back to where it came from. RIP Niedercat and dad. i love you both.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
becoming SAG-eligible and doing standup comedy for the first time....and my father was still alive and coherent enough to savor it.

9. What was your biggest failure?
The only thing i failed at was not taking care of myself and allowing myself to grieve.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Anxiety, depression and other issues related to and caused by those things. I spent about 2 months in agony and I'm just now feeling better. I got scary skinny because I physically couldn't eat, ended up in both physical and mental therapy, but it's a good learning process as well. i can't complain too much because everything wrong with me is treatable.

11. Whose behavior merited celebration?
plain and simple, Brendan....it's a miracle that he didn't leave me especially when I was being crazy for most of November.

12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I have a family member and i'm not going to say who he/she is, but the appalling behavior at my father's visitation & funeral made me want to punch this person in the face. I hope those tears (which were lounder and longer than my own mother's) were because of the guilt this person felt for coming around only ONCE the whole TWO YEARS my father was sick (and a more-than-likely forced visitation at that), but I highly doubt it. They were probably just a histrionic attention-whoring drama-queening/kinging act & that little comment towards another family member when saying goodbye at the post-funeral meal was just uncalled for and insulting. You may not approve of that individual's lifestyle but it's not your place to judge especially when you are in a church! I shouldn't let this person get to me, but said person disgusts me....it may not be today, tomorrow and even the near future, but some day I will have my moment and I will unleash on this person.

13. Where did most of your money go?
shopping, headshots, baseball tickets, airline tickets to visit my dad.

14. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
spring training, sag-eligibility.

15. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Can't think of any right now...i listened to mostly sports radio in the car.

16. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? sadder, but I'm working through it....sadder only because I miss my dad, a lot.
b) thinner or fatter? thinner, but it's not necessarily a bad thing.
c) richer or poorer? Richer....i got out of my hell job at hell downtown and i'm a great job that has been so flexible with accomodating my frequent trips home & my being sick


17. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Relaxed and allowed myself to feel and grieve. also wish I would've been more motivated, been more girlfriendy & less wifey with my boyfriend

18. What do you wish you’d done less of?
bitching, whining, complaining, feeling sorry for myself, slacking on the couch, worrying about every little thing, freaking out over little things, sweating small stuff, scaring the shit out of my loved ones with my anxiety-induced health issues.

19. How will you be spending Christmas?
spent it with Brendan in L.A., it may seem a little strange that I didn't go home to be with my family for my first Xmas without my father, but my mother had my siblings and Brendan couldn't go home due to work, so I didn't want him to be alone. sure he would've had his friends and Ralphie, but I felt we needed to stay strong together.


20. Did you fall in love in 2011?
more and more every day with my Jersey boy


21. What was your favorite TV program?
Brendan got me addicted to Top Chef!

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope, I still pretty much hate the people associated with the drug that resulted in my father's cancer.

23. What was the best book you read?
I wouldn't call it the best book I read, but the most important book I read was "When Parents Die." My boyfriend's brother & sister-in-law bought me after my father passed away

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Can't say I had one this year, so I will go with my greatest sports discovery....FANTASY GAMES! I played baseball and football and well, wouldn't you know it, I'm pretty good at both.

25. What did you want and get?
SAG-eligibility!!! Moving in with my boyfriend and having him meet my father while my father was still well enough to do some things with us

26. What did you want and not get?
My father and cat to live.

27. What was your favorite film of this year?
I can't even remember the films that I watched this year. I did enjoy The Social Network.

28. What did you do on your birthday? How old were you?
Top Chef Tour of Los Angeles: lunch at Michael Voltaggio's ink sack (saw him making sammies, but it was too busy to meet him), pre-dinner drink/appetizer at Antonia Lofaso's Black Market (along with meeting her!) & 7-course personalized chef's table tasting menu dinner at Fabio Viviani's Firenze Osteria (didn't meet Fabio, he was out of town, but he left me a message on twitter that i got after we left dinner). I also got a METRIC SHIT TON of presents! A lady doesn't reveal her age.

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
getting more stuff done.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
the usual: sporty spice....baseball jersey and something cute with it.

31. What kept you sane?
Brendan....and when that wasn't enough ativan and ambien.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
all the conversations that I had with Cleveland Indians baseball players on twitter.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?
not so much a politcal issue as an ethical issue....the fact that the drug that gave my father cancer is STILL being prescribed to people despite the fact that it has been pulled off the market in European countries. Here, it just gets slapped with a warning that it COULD cause cancer....could!?!? try does and there's a reason why there's now a class action suit against the makers of this drug because that COULD has happened to MANY MANY MANY people who have taken that drug.

34. Who did you miss?
all the loved ones I lost.

35. Who was the best new person you met?
My loving new co-workers.

36. What valuable life lesson did you learn in 2011?
Relax, allow yourself to feel, that it's definitely time to grow up in some senses. it's okay to cry and feel vunerable. living with someone is compromise, not to be so me-centric and allow other people into my life.

37. What song lyrics sum up your year?
I got nothing here, so I'll go with a sport reference. if you're having a bad game, allow your teammates to carry you to victory.

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