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Crazy shit my boyfriend says

My boyfriend, Brendan is pretty darn witty, but sometimes things just come out of his mouth and I say "wha wha what?!?! Come on, baby! you can't SERIOUSLY think that is real" and I have to question his logic.

-His belief that Canadians are pagans because they celebrate Boxing Day as opposed to Christmas. I tried to convince him that they celebrate Christmas as well and that (according to wikipedia) a majority of the population practices Christian-based faiths. I mean, come on...Celine Dion is supposed to be some lyrical angel. I even got him a Michael Buble Christmas cd, but his argument is that Buble doing Christmas stuff is just a smart entertainment business move. Then again, the Canadians did allow Justin Bieber to slip across the border, so maybe they are actually Satanists rather than pagans.
-"Goats are the vessel of the devil": In Brendan's word, all goats are evil & are doing the devil's bidding. They are in petting zoos to corrupt children to the ways of Satan. When we went to my home in Ohio, the local dairy has a goat play area where you can pet and feed them, he was having NO part of that.
-fake milk: This would be known as the lactose-free milk that I have to drink. He says it's not real even though it has the Real dairy seal on the carton. he even vandalized my milk once and wrote it on the carton.


-fake peanut butter: This would actually be "all-natural" or "organic" peanut butter as in peanut butter that is just peanuts, oil and maybe salt. Apparently, according to Brendan, it's not real peanut butter unless it has high-fructose corn syrup in it because that's what makes it real. If you have to refridgerate the peanut butter, it is fake. Real peanut butter can just sit in the pantry and doesn't have to be stirred when you open it.