?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Where's Waldo, Carmen Sandiego & me?

It's no secret. I've neglected my blog (except when I did my weekly liveblogging of America's Next Top Model) and only touched on it sporadically since about the end of 2008 when I took off to Aruba (well minus the daily twitter imports). Coincidentally, it goes along with when my life really seemed to take a turn for the shitter (like psuedo-dating the 99-cent store version of Spencer Pratt most of 2008 & flushing him out of my life in early 2009 wasn't crappy enough)....and I'm talking backwoods outhouse shitter not your run-of-the-mill port-a-potty. You'd think a person who subscribes to therapeutic writing would have dived right in and taken care of business, but nope. When at my most vulnerable, I kept it mostly inside, showing bits and piece in facebook statuses, tweets and maybe a couple lines of writing. Instead of letting people who care about me see how emotionally exposed i was, I kept the deepest darkest stuff bottled up inside just like I did when my nephew got killed. At least this time, I managed to talk to a handful of friends offline & I was mostly too broke to go drown my sorrows in deluge of vodka and beer every night like I did my last 6 months in Findlay (among other things....of course, then it was free because that's what happens when you're a pampered athlete/sorority girl...it's like being a damn rock star or at least it was then when Oilers ruled the NAIA.) so about the stupidest thing I did this time was spend $40 on a t-shirt at a Duran Duran concert instead of buying groceries. Disastrous results avoided.

So for all the stuff you missed because I really didn't write about it, here's the rundown of how things snowballed to the point that I sometimes didn't leave my house for days (if I even got out of my pajamas or bed) unless dragged out or to go to my new "job"* & I'm going to make it a point to write about each one in more detail later (as if it were writing homework):
-two of the most god-awful dates ever (i already wrote about those, but that seemed to be the starting point)
-got screwed out of my job that I loved....though it did teach me that i need to separate "job" from "career"
-went from never getting let go from a job in my life to 3 times in 6 weeks including once on my first day (though I've more than written about that incident)
-my parents having to pay a majority of my freaking bills. let me tell you, that just gives you a warm charming sense of accomplishment & success in life deep down inside your soul when you have to do that (if you don't get the sarcasm in this, you just don't get sarcasm. It's on thicker than Snooki's spray tan here.)
-damn near freaking went blind because my eyes decided they were going to reject contact lenses and get infected every other week which isn't really cheap when you lose your health insurance (which would've partially covered my LASIK procedure) & actually kept me from auditions/gigs which I'm sure is what partially led to...
-my agent dropping me.
-and just when I think I've survived all that crap with my sanity & most of my friendships intact....along comes my dad's health issue & my roommate moving out.

So, that being said, I'm coming back. i'm working it out & besides, baseball season is starting. you know the hilarious entries of pissitivity and anguish that will result because my team is cursed in addition to having a cheap ass owner (sidenote: my mom yelled at me today for saying I wished Mr. Tightwad would drop dead). After all, I partake in the masochism of being a Cleveland Indians fan. Also, since I still trying to cleanse my karma (jesus h, universe, seriously...how long?!?! let this be your lesson, Tiger Woods & maybe just give Elin ANYTHING & EVERYTHING she wants), I'm sure there will be more ruinous adventures in dating (well, if i can even get to the first date). After all, if one volunteers with an organization to mentor young female writers, one should probably do some writing of their own that is more than 140 characters. They actually inspire me...if a 16-yr-old girl can write about her life, stand on a stage & share, what the hell is wrong with me especially when I consider myself an entertainer?

Oh yeah, you're still going to have to deal with the twitter imports and the Top Model bloggin...besides, who doesn't like mocking Tyra's narcissism? And I still don't know where Waldo or Carmen SanDiego are, but I did stand in line for a job interview over the summer with a guy who had a Where's Waldo book for entertainment to pass the time & doubled as his resume folder.

*"job" vs "career" = what you do to pay the bills in Hollywood vs. what you came out here to do in the first place.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
moonwych
Feb. 4th, 2010 06:03 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry things have been so rough. I hope it gets better and does so quickly.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )