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(NOTE for non-regular readers or readers outside of Livejournal: this week's topic for the writing contest I'm in is "intersubectivity" and it's a intersection meaning that I had a partner/companion piece this week as well written by yachiru)

It started with a conversation.

"This intersubjectivity thing is hard. I don't get it. Wikipedia usually clears things up for me, but this psychological, philosophical crap just muddles in my ADHD brain and then i drift and then I comprehend nothing and it ends up being just a bunch of words like legal or medical jargon."

"Relax. Take a deep breath. Let's look at this part of the wikipedia Proponents of cognitive sociology have argued the presence of intersubjectivity, an intermediate perspective of social cognition, that provides a balanced view between personal and universal views on our social cognition. It suggests that instead of being individual or universal thinkers, human beings subscribe to "thought communities" - communities of differing beliefs that each individual belong to. So look at it as "thought communities" like Team Jen or Team Angelina"

"I'm totally Team Angelina...I never really bought into the whole Friends thing. Like they could afford that apartment in NYC on those salaries. Hell, like there's even an apartment that big in NYC!”

And so I rolled with it.

I started thinking about all the teams that happen within a relationship and the little quirks that happen when you live with someone. There’s no right or wrong really, though the person with their preference probably thinks they are right. You just belong to a different thought community despite your love for each other. Here are some of the fun ones in my relationship.

Toothpaste: This was the first quirk that reared it’s ugly head in our relationship and it was before we even moved in together.

A little fact about me is that I’m borderline OCD crazy about my teeth. After all, about $5000 or so in dental work as a child/teen/young adult will possibly do that to a person. I’m talking extractions, the roof of my mouth widened twice, spacers, braces for almost 3 years, retainers, more retainers. No wisdom teeth extraction. Those were the only 4 to come in straight….so i kept them & the orthodontist, deciding he had tortured me enough from the ages of 7-20ish, made sure I had room to keep them.

Anyway, the routine consists of flossing, whitening pre-rinse, minimum 2 minutes of brushing with a top of the line Sonicare toothbrush & Crest Pro-care toothpaste (yes I have a preferred brand) and, finally, post-rinse anti cavity mouthwash. BTdubs, if you have insomnia & watch tv, you might see my teeth on a GoSmile informercial (I got a free trip to Portland OR with my smile). Therefore, it should come as no major surprise that I like my toothpaste rolled. yes. please roll it as you go. Use a bobby pin to squeeze it all to the top of the tube and roll it. My preferred brand isn’t the cheapest, so i like to get as much out of the tube as I possibly can.

You can only imagine the shock & horror on my face upon starting to use my lover’s toothpaste while staying at his place to find it a squished mess. There are those “thought communities”. I pray for them. I really do. All I have to say is that I roll my toothpaste & I breeze through my dental cleanings. Mr. Messy Tube…well he’s another story. I think it is in direct correlation to rolling or not rolling.

Peanut butter: Oh geez…crunchy (me) vs creamy (him). Ohhhhhh, but it goes FURTHER than that. I like the natural stuff. The stuff you have to stir, the stuff that you sometimes have to put in the fridge after you open it, the stuff that is just peanuts, oil, salt. (Jif Natural crunchy is my top choice, but I’ll take Trader Joe’s crunchy too). Brendan? Creamy and it better have some fake stuff like hydrogenated whatever oil or “it’s not real peanut butter.” Yet, strangely, when his peanut butter is gone, somehow mine mysteriously disappears shortly afterwards. He couldn’t possibly be eating my “fake” peanut butter….He blames the gnomes that we have in our living room (they’re so mischievous)

Milk: What is milk? That is the real question here. I know mine comes from a cow. I know the kind my boyfriend gets comes from a cow. Mine just doesn’t happen to have lactose and in the eyes of my boyfriend….that makes it FAKE MILK!!! Now we both work in the restaurant industry as our “thrival jobs” (aka the night job you work when you are an actor that allows you to “thrive” not “survive” at your art…i really need to start a Hollywood-to-English dictionary) & we’re at a party with some chefs from his restaurant. Somehow, the “milk” topic comes up and this actually became a discussion with these chefs….Team Cow, Team Soy, Team Almond…you get the picture. Meanwhile, I sometimes have as many as FOUR things of milk in my fridge (or 2 milks and 2 “white waters” as the boyfriend calls them): white milk, white lactose free milk, chocolate milk, lactose free chocolate milk. Oh yeah….soy milk is more legit milk that lactose-free milk (at least in his eyes.)

Don’t get me started on our sports team rivalries….that’s probably best saved for another week and thank god we don't really care about toilet paper up/down (those people are just weirdos!)

And if you’re wondering Team Edward or Team Jacob. NEITHER. Vampires don’t fucking sparkle. Team Angel for life!


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 10th, 2014 01:47 am (UTC)
We keep different kinds of milk, too, though we don't bother to argue over it -- my roommate has a milk allergy, so she's stuck with the soy, and then we keep the regular for use in cooking. (Thankfully she can eat it in any other form but liquid milk.)
Sep. 10th, 2014 06:20 am (UTC)
Oh I totally get the relationship quirks ..... I like how this has been put with lots of realistic humour ... the scope for this topic is endless isn't it ?? Well Done :)
Sep. 10th, 2014 11:35 am (UTC)
Love conquers toothpaste tubes. It seems unlikely, but love is just that strong.
Sep. 10th, 2014 12:11 pm (UTC)
I am dying laughing here at Team Angel for life. lol
Sep. 10th, 2014 04:44 pm (UTC)
Heh, it's always the little things that are so confounding in a relationship.
Sep. 10th, 2014 07:23 pm (UTC)
My husband and I are lucky enough to agree on all of these-- except that the kids have introduced wrinkles like fattier milk and (our daughter) the dreaded creamy peanut butter. Everyone else in the family likes Extra Crunchy Jif. Smooth? Is like tar. And tastes far less like peanuts. :O
Sep. 11th, 2014 03:49 pm (UTC)
They put all that HFC in it. Eww! I'm with you Jif all natural extra crunchy! I don't care if it tears the bread! :)
Sep. 11th, 2014 03:47 pm (UTC)
I agree Vampires don't sparkle! They're beguiling evil creatures!
Sep. 11th, 2014 08:32 pm (UTC)
Fortunately, my husband and i don't get too bent out of shape about such differences, because we have loads. I think he thinks there's a dish fairy who does dishes...

I'm trying to figure out what the connection is with your partner's piece. Can you help me out? My preschooler has been eating my brain.
Sep. 11th, 2014 09:07 pm (UTC)
Cute perspective on the topic. AW
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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