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Jayus moments while doing standup comedy

Jayus: “From Indonesian, meaning a joke so poorly told and so unfunny that one cannot help but laugh.”

My experience doing standup comedy in late 2011-early 2012 could be considered one giant jayus debacle

I took a standup comedy class in 2011 & the irony of that is that I took it at the worst possible time every. In fact, it was so poorly timed that all I could do was laugh not to cry. The class coincided with my father entering hospice for the last month of his life. I would go to class on a Wed from 7-10, come home & pack, then fly out to Ohio on a Thursday morning, stay until Wednesday morning & fly back to LA to get back in time for class on Wednesday night. Stay in L.A. for a week, work my job Thur-Sunday, repeat the cycle the next Wednesday (often writing my class assignments out while on the planes). That would be jayus #1. Oh yeah....before I forget, one of the flights, I misplaced my ID & had to get interrogated by TSA in order to get on my flight back to LA only to find my stupid id in a pocket of my dufflebag when I got back to LA...THIS SHIT ISN'T FUNNY AND SOMEHOW I'M LAUGHING (to keep from crying).

Now my class showcase was awesome. People laughed, they got the jokes. I tell a lot of sports-themed jokes because that's who I am....the sporty sassy gal who tries to be girly.
You can even see that showcase act on my Youtube channel.. Now between that performance and the next time I trotted it out, my dad died, I had the plane flight from turbulence hell & pretty much had monster panic attacks that landed me in the ER, but when you get invited to perform at The Comedy Store, you don't turn it down. My mom was in town for Thanksgiving and my boyfriend had the night off, so I was nervous but excited. I get up for my 7 minutes and crickets other than my mom and boyfriend. This is what happens when you have a mostly hipster crowd and you're trying to tell jokes about Lebron James, the Miami Dolphins and how all your sports teams are cursed, they're too cool to watch sports and your jokes fall flat. Then it got even more unfunny because 2 comics later...after they red-lighted me after only 5 minutes instead of 7 (they flash a red light to tell you to wrap it up)...guess who the surprise guest is?!?! Sarah fucking Silverman...she's just showing up to "try out some new stuff and see if it works" I just bombed with Sarah Silverman (someone I adore comedically) watching me. AWESOME!!!! This is so damn unfunny all I can do is laugh to keep from crying...yet again.

The final jayus moment that I had doing standup, I just owned and turned it into a joke on stage. then I promptly realized that maybe what I do comedically is better suited for social media, blogging, my own sports videos or a podcast. I'd written a new part of my act that was centered around the Super Bowl in 2012. Tebow & his mom were doing some pro-life family commercial, Madonna was the halftime show (Madge put away your vadge...everyone who has wanted to see it has seen it at this point. it's like loose cootch meat flaps at your age). Anyway, I had this joke that the last time my team, the Miami Dolphins, had won a Super Bowl my mom could've still aborted me as a fetus and not had Timmy Tebow and his mama preaching about it. I think there was also some Madonna reference where I said "Mama don't preach". This illicited some crickets, some boos and some typical LA fake laughs....so I deviate from the next joke, just go down to one knee and say into the mic very dry "Tebow Time" and that turned it into a laugh. who knows....maybe that joke really was unfunny, but I was going to own it and find a way to make these people laugh.

Game. Set. Match....win! And then I took my jokes to twitter....where I've been retweeted by ESPN, FOX sports and other various outlets to the point that I've been called the Chelsea Handler of sports (thank you baby jesus for not letting me bomb in front of her. I would've stolen her vodka and chugged it).


( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 15th, 2014 10:12 pm (UTC)
The Chelsea Handler of sports? That is quite a compliment. :)
Mar. 16th, 2014 05:55 am (UTC)
i may be guilty of swaying people to think that as well
Mar. 15th, 2014 10:49 pm (UTC)
Congrats on finding the proper venue for your humor, and don't worry! Sarah Silverman has bombed many times before, just like every other comic.
Mar. 16th, 2014 05:56 am (UTC)
Mar. 16th, 2014 12:30 am (UTC)
I've done stand-up, and it is rough when the audience is not on your side! One of the worst audiences (other than hipsters) has to be a room full of comedians on open mic night, too busy thinking of their own set to listen to yours. I watched your showcase, and I liked the line about "Do I get my team's panties or my boyfriend's panties?" and the follow up "I'm not a fan of my boyfriend booing me when I take my pants down."
Mar. 16th, 2014 05:57 am (UTC)
yeah that was a little weird doing that joke in front of my mom. LOL. for the record, I have my own team's panties for the most part...there was also a joke in the longer version of the the act about using the NY Jets panties as "period panties" since my team (the Dolphins) is their rival.

Edited at 2014-03-16 05:58 am (UTC)
Mar. 16th, 2014 02:25 pm (UTC)
How did your mom respond to that one?
Mar. 19th, 2014 05:42 am (UTC)
she laughed...she knows I have a crude foul mouth
Mar. 20th, 2014 01:15 am (UTC)
Glad she could laugh. :)
Mar. 16th, 2014 09:47 pm (UTC)
Oh dear! Not a good run for you! But yay for the retweets and all! Smile.
Mar. 17th, 2014 01:38 am (UTC)
The only thing worse than an audience who hates you is an audience who ignores you. I'm glad you found your venue.
Mar. 18th, 2014 02:29 am (UTC)
I can't even get up in front of people, so I admire your ability to do stand-up! I'm with penpusher, I'm sure Sarah's bombed before, so it's not sweat. Just look at how far you've come!
Mar. 19th, 2014 05:42 am (UTC)
Mar. 18th, 2014 04:57 am (UTC)
I actually loved your stand up!
I definitely laughed about your comment about your entire comedic routine being a jayus, but I think you were honestly quite good!
Mar. 19th, 2014 05:43 am (UTC)
thanks so much. well if you laughed, that's awesome. means I'm doing something right.
Mar. 18th, 2014 06:17 am (UTC)
Live humor can be so intimidating-- you're face-to-face with your audience, and you can immediately tell if your joke falls flat (and work yourself into a phobia over it, eventually).

I'm glad you found types of media that suit you!
Mar. 18th, 2014 11:59 am (UTC)
Kudos! I say...:) a job well done in face of adversary...
Mar. 18th, 2014 01:49 pm (UTC)
I am happy you found your comedic niche! Nicely done.
Mar. 19th, 2014 05:39 am (UTC)
Hey, I like the Tebow joke! *smirk*
Mar. 19th, 2014 05:43 am (UTC)
awesome!!! Oh Timmy....so adorbs, so delusional.
Mar. 20th, 2014 01:11 am (UTC)
Glad you found your niche! :)
Mar. 20th, 2014 02:01 am (UTC)
Every kind of humor has a venue somewhere. Though I like the Tebow joke as well ;)
Mar. 20th, 2014 02:26 am (UTC)
You're right, it's better to laugh not to cry when so many things happen all at once.
Mar. 20th, 2014 03:40 am (UTC)
What an interesting life!
Mar. 20th, 2014 03:50 am (UTC)
thanx and that it is.
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )

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