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America's Next Top Model is back!!!

Let's all revel in the glory that is the narcissism of Tyra Banks. Straight up from the opening where Tyra brags how big the show has become and spread all over the world. You know, it's all because of her.

-Sheraton Universal....like 2 miles from me.
-Oh look, Tyra has created her own social networking site called "MyFierce". Doesn't she know that is soooo last season and everyone is on "Fiercebook" now?
-This Hallie chick obviously doesn't know that indeed Tyra IS a goddess from Egypt. come on now! You should know better. The world revolves around Tyra!
-instead of "networking", you do some social "net-walking"
-nothing like a little namedropping that Cybil Sheppard is your godmother to attempt to sway the judges. I'm sure Cybil is just sooooo proud that you mentioned that. I'm talking to you, Hallie....but she's not here for the money. if you're a trust fund baby, just buy your modeling career like Devon Akoi.
-Nothing like having a teen mom on the show as in got knocked up the first time she had sex at like 16 with a 22-yr-old boy she met at church (statutory, anyone? oh wait, she's from Arkansas, so i think it's fine because they're married.). Way to ride that Jamie Lynn Spears/Bristol Palin wagon! "I have no idea how it happened" was the quote from the girl. I do! It's called unprotected sex, you moron!
-Oh wait...it gets better! not one, but TWO girls who got knocked up the first time they had sex! At least this chick was 18. For the love of the baby Jesus, do NOT like Kevin Federline anywhere near this cast. It'll pop up babies like a cabbage patch in the 80s.
-Nothin like skipping school to try out for Top model and then lie to your teachers about it. like they'll NEVER find out when they see you on tv.
-Wow! This one chick just said that white guys' penises look like raw meat. hmmmm, now that i think about it.....Miss Jay is just freaking loosin it.
-I could've sworn that Glamzonia was around before the Queen of Sparkle who looks like a drag queen invented it.
-Naduah has found a way to appease the ego of Tyra...paint her a pretty picture & then tell the story about how you were raised in a crazy religious cult. I do love this chick's accent and look though. she's incredible.
-SIZE 10 IS NOT PLUS SIZE!!!! I don't know how many times this has to be pointed out.
-Who wants to bet that the two who are off wagering on who is going to get the boot get the boot themselves?
-And I was right!....at least for the one.
-If I could do the "what supermodel are you" shoot....Heidi Klum, Linda Evangelista, Janice Dickinson or Gia Carangi all the freakin way.
-why do these girls look so damn pissed in some of these photos? are they not feeding them or something?!!
-hmmmm 14 spots but they could only agree on 12. Wait!!! stop the damn presses!!! did Tyra actually not OVERRIDE the democracy for once?!?! Someone check to see that she's not sick!
-and there went the other one that was wagering.
-LA is good enough for casting, but it's off to NYC for the season, but with another girl, who apparently got to override the auditioning.
-What's with all the scarves & hats on the heads for these interviews!?!? I'll tell you what is up. They were probably filmed AFTER the makeovers, but they can't give it away, so they have to hide the hair.
-get ready to turn on the tears. The "ty-overs" aka makeovers are coming. there's always one girl who doesn't like her hair.
-oh look, Paula Cole's daughter is the 13th contestant. Ok, I don't know that Ren is really Paula Cole's daughter, but that bushy ass armpit hair is straight out of the Lilith Fair.
-YES!!! THE TEARS ARE FALLING (and we're not even halfway thru the makeovers). Told you it would happen. Never doubt me.
-I really hope that Angelea is not really wearing Tyra's "old hair" like she claimed.
-Raina looks like freakin Liv Tyler & Neve Campbell had a baby now.
-Oh fun...drizzama in the house already!
-Wow, that's weird ending the episode at the beginning of the photo shoot and not with an elimination, but what a start to next week's ep it will be...nude photo shoot. Always separates the women from the girls. My pick so far is the bald chick. Naduah?!
-I've HAD what it takes to be America's Next Top Model for years. Your damn age restriction won't let me play.


See you next week, you narcissistic bitches!

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
booksaremyhabit
Mar. 16th, 2010 02:25 am (UTC)
I'm also going with the bald chick
aimercat
Mar. 24th, 2010 09:02 am (UTC)
well....that got blown out of the water.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )