I'm so very glad that Mercury has decided to take its ass out of retrograde. It's been one thing after another. Holy freaking heck. Electronics and technology are usually my friends, but this week has been a shitshow left and right. Websites are puking on me left and right, actual equipment is going on the fritz, stuff like that
-Tried to update my online modeling portfolio at modelmayhem so I can have my photographer friend check out my pix and help me pick photos for my new comp cards so I can get a new modeling agent. A 30-minute job took about 2 hours, though, because their server kept messing up my photos insisting they were too big (they weren't) and then too small (they weren't) and then they would duplicate post. So annoying.
-This one is even bigger. Lacasting.com has decided that it hates my account set up through my agency. It won't let me submit to anything. No submissions =no auditions = cranky frustrated Amy. They set up a temporary account for me with my pictures, but not my resume, which means I have to link them back to my agency account page (which works but just won't let me submit) in order for whoever is casting to see my resume.
-Sirius radio: Then my sirius radio got jacked from my car by one of the stupidest criminals ever, but I have a special post for that idiot.
-automated systems: Tried to refill my prescriptions using the automated system I'm supposed to use. Someone goofed the last time I got a refill and said I got 60 pills instead of 30, so it wouldn't let me have a refill. Then the internet company kept saying my payment was late and wouldn't let me speak to a representative until I paid the bill using their automated system.
-Twitter didn't want to work with replies/search/pages. Lovely...on the opening day of baseball when we all know I love to livetweet games.
-My hate for Dish Network continues as they claimed they were "working on" getting the MLB tv package last season. well this season rolled around and still no baseball package. Liars. I can't wait to be freed from their evil clutches.

How is it that I haven't posted in a whole entire month!?!? I simply must correct this. I promis you that I will. I have spring training stories...7 baseball games in 5 days along with 2 NCAA basketball games. A most awesome vacay!

So I'm sick again (lovely) and it was worse with the exception that I didn't have a massive panic attack when I went to the ER because I knew somewhat knew what was going on this time. I literally went from my first bout with stomach issues to a massive respiratory cold/infection back to stomach issues. They started back up just as the hellacious cough went away. Started with a feeling that something was going on in my throat which lead to worthless antibiotics (since it wasn't bacterial) which probably tore up my stomach & when those didn't work and I came down with a fever in Ohio (while I was home for my college roommate's surprise bday party), it was off to another doctor who gave me an even stronger antibiotic that tore up my stomach even more. Got back to LA on a Tues, back to the Urgent care on a Friday, doctor gives me a shot of prednisone to take down the swelling in my throat and a drug to keep me from being so nauseous from the antibiotics. The next Tues (beginning of Feb), I had an appointment with my new primary doctor and tell her something feels stuck in my throat to the point I can barely even eat soft foods & she pretty much blows me off like some ignorant welfare case. (that's what you deal with when you don't have health insurance). She gives me some freaking prescription zantac, clairitin and vitamins because she's a "conservative doctor" and doesn't want to run any tests on me nevermind I told her I've been dealing with this on and off for like 3 months now. At least she had the decency to give me zoloft as well. "it's just stress." (yeah that's why it's still here. watch as I roll my eyes). "come back in a month and go get these blood test in 3 weeks" (apparently she also wasn't listening to me when I told her I just had complete blood work done in November)

Well a little over 24 hours later, I wind up back in the ER with massive stomach gurgling, pain and belching again. I couldn't even drink water without it killing me. They look as far down my throat as they can without a scope (they find nothing especially where i say it hurts: behind my right tonsil). Gave me industrial strength Maalox-type acid reducer to drink (it was the grossest nastiest stuff ever, I almost puked it up), ran extensive blood & urine tests (gallbladder, liver, pancreas all came back clean. everything came back clean) & sent me on my way. it's not fun being at the ER until 5am....and I'm supposed to leave for New Jersey a couple days later to finally meet my boyfriend's family. Now that was in jeopardy too. Well until I called the airline and realized what dicks they were going to be if I tried to change/cancel my flight (this is why I almost always try to fly southwest, but this time I couldn't). Somehow I muster the strength to work through all of this too....I've only missed one shift of work through all of this crap and that was the first time i went to the ER in November.

So once again I'm on this limited diet of no tomato, no spicy, no citrus, no caffeine, no alcohol, no chocolate, no fried/fatty food. I have a crap ton of pills to take every day (though I'm weaning myself off the anti-anxiety that i was only supposed to take for the 2-4 weeks until the zoloft kicked in). The zoloft tears my stomach up as well, so I still feel nauseous at times and the whole week I was in New jersey, it would make me "pass out while standing" tired about 4 hours after I took it (thank god that passed, though it stopped right when i wanted it to work...on the 6-hr flight back to LA). I've also had to stop auditioning so now I'm not even acting, modeling or doing any standup. It sucks because i finally got called into a couple commercial casting offices that I've been trying to get into for like 2 years now and I had to pass on an audition with a director who I already worked for as well. It's kind of my own fault though because as soon as I felt slightly better the first time, I went all gung ho and well, shocker....I got sick again. (my therapist says it's because I don't "embrace my feelings and feel them")

So my days pretty much consist of getting up, eating so I can take my medicine, sitting around the house doing nothing or just doing household chores, walking the dog, watching tv, playing on the internet and reading magazines....oh and eating so i can take more meds. Can't really go out with my friends because what fun are restaurants or bars if you can't eat or drink anything? Can't go hiking with them because I'm not sure i can do strenuous workouts yet. Oh yeah....my throat still hurts.

I go back to the doctor next Thursday and this Thursday is my THIRD round of blood tests in 3 months. I should just go get the results from the other 2 times and say "here, I think I've volunteered enough of my blood lately for testing". I swear if she talks down to me this time like I'm some uneducated jobless welfare case, I'm going to inform her that I have not one, but TWO college degrees and that i'm not stupid. I just want to get back to being awesome again and doing the things I love....like eating and drinking like NORMAL human being.

Finally, I also am on call for jury duty all of this week? SERIOUSLY!??! I thought we were done with the bullshit on 12/31/11...come on!

My awesome boyfriend first introduced me (not personally, but in a tv way) to Anthony Bourdain & his show No Reservations. This dude is awesome because he just tells it like it is. I think i like Bourdain's new show The Layover even more....36 hrs in one particular city. Well now it's my current city's turn: Los Angeles. Not even 1 minute into this episode and I know I must blog about it and if you've ever wanted to know about life in the city that I reside in, then you must find it on your cable/satellite/internet/whatever, record and watch. Then come back and read this blog again as well.

-Yes, it is so very true what he says about where you are staying helps determine what airport you fly into. I used to live in the infamous "Valley" and Burbank (Bob Hope Airport) was much much closer where as LAX was a bitch and a half to get to pretty much any time of the day. Now I live on the other side of the Hollywood hills where LAX is a hop, skip and a couple of jumps and, if I have to, i can take side streets to avoid the freeway traffic. Now I would never dream of flying out of Burbank. It's a bitch and half to get to from where I live now. Long Beach is pretty much never an option. Also, if you're doing the whole Disney vacation...forget all of those and fly into Orange County (SNA aka John Wayne). Now what he doesn't tell you is that the cheapest fares and the most direct flights are to LAX, usually followed by Orange County, then Long Beach and Burbank is usually the most expensive.
-It's not too often that you see a fast food restuarant on one of these type of shows, but trust me when I say In-N-Out is the bomb and there is a secret menu but you can find most of the "secrets" on the internet if you just google around. Everything he says about the place is spot on as well. they pay their employees above minimum wage and they even have a Burger University that they send the employees who want to make a career with the company (I've seen it!)
-if you can't afford to stay at the Chateau Marmont, but you still want a little bit of the experience, just pop in for a drink at Bar Marmont which is on Sunset Blvd, just down the street from the hotel. Sure you'll pay about $12 for an Absolut/whatever, but it's less than a night in the hotel.
-you are more likely to see celebs hiking at Runyon Canyon in the Hollywood Hills than you are at the beach.
-Hell yes on the food trucks!!! My personal faves are the South Philly Experience, Barbie'sQ, Patty Wagon & the Grilled Cheese Truck. (I've yet to try trucks that Anthony showcases, if you're wondering)
-if you miss Koreatown, you will also miss the 3-story (yes, I said 3) KFC....yes THREE stories of seating for a Kentucky Fried Chicken. They love that shit in Koreatown.
-And if you can't take the Deadly Departed tour of Hollywood, I'm sure my friend Lisa Curry can show you some morbid ass sites. She's shown me where Marilyn Monroe died/is buried, the OJ House & where he didn't commit murder and well, I used to live down the street from Vitello's where Robert Blake didn't kill his wife.
-we name our cars in L.A. because we spend so much time in them. Mine is Mazzy. my boyfriend's is Albert. they're quite the cute couple.
-Don't listen to these chicks about having to valet everywhere you go. It is true about the parking tickets, though. You have to read the signs and then re-read them a couple more times just to make sure. I've even had so many signs that I've gotten out a piece of paper and made to chart to figure out if I can park in the spot and for how long. Still, I rarely pay to park....even when I go to the Sunset Strip. i have my secret places and I'm not telling (because if I do, then I won't have a spot to park in myself...they are that scarce in some places)
-Jumbo's Clown Room is where I once saw a tranny dancer from Tijuana do a fire eating act while dancing. No Joke. Pretty sure that was illegal but she did it. Courtney Love supposedly danced here at one time and I did see Rose McGowan just kicking back in a dark corner having a drink.

Dear 2011....

We are done. please feel free to eff off and die at midnight. I hate you. You sucked even before you began. I started the year still reeling from the loss of one of my first friends in Los Angeles as he passed the morning of New Year's Eve. Then, you continued to suck even more and more....taking my cat from me in April (after watching him suffer for 2 weeks, slowly starving to death as cancer took his vibrant light from my life until I had to make the difficult decision to put him to sleep) and my father from me in October (again, cancer sucks & I wish I could've ended his misery like i was able to Nieder's...funny how we give our pets more dignity than humans at times.). You've stretched my relationship with my boyfriend about as much as possible without us breaking up. You even tried to take my health and my livelihood from me with anxiety-related health issues that I've been battling with since my father's passing. One thing after another....car problems, moving drama, job drama (at least I got out of my hell job). I just couldn't seem to get away from your black cloud this year.

I'm shocked as shit that you didn't also take my best friend from me as well. I guess i should say "thank you" for allowing her to walk away practically unscathed from that gruesome wreckage where she rolled her car a few times on the freeway.

It is so hard to find positives when you have been constantly kicked and kicked and kicked in a 12-month period, but I am grateful for an amazingly patient boyfriend, SAG-eligibility, great friends who stuck with me even when i was irrationally convinced that I was dying & a loving Ralph E. Boy whose snuggly puppy love helped ease the loss of Niedermayer kitty.

2012 has to rock...and it will. Like my friend, Lisa, this is my last year of complete anonymity....this year, me and my sweetie become a power couple and take over Hollywood and the world (i hope you're ready to blow up your DVRs trying to keep up with our appearances). This year, Brendan and I will have a lot of sexy time, baseball fun, cookouts galore, entertaining extravaganzas, traveling adventures and even cozy nights in our mid-city mansion.

Tonight is one of the HELL nights if you work in the service industry. Too many reservations, not enough tables, people bitching about cover charges (if your place has one), people being impatient about getting drinks, people drinking too much & getting upset when you won't let them overindulge because you don't want to get in trouble (either with your boss or the law...hello! we can get fined and/or go to jail for overserving and if you're an idiot and drive...well we can also be sued if you hit/kill/maim anyone).

Twice I've personally been puked on at/around midnight by people who can't handle their liquor. It's not fun.

REMEMBER TO TIP YOUR SERVERS AND BARTENDERS!!!! if you can't afford to do so, you can't afford to go out, buy a bottle of something and stay at home. We work insane hours on this day to make sure that you have a good time and we often don't get home until after Hawaii has already celebrated New Year's because we have to clean up after the disrespectful mess that you left. Then, we come home exhausted & having to climb right into bed (especially if you work in a sports bar) because we have to be back at work the very next day. It's not a holiday for us. How would you feel if someone came to party at your house and trashed the place? Think about that when you think it's fun to throw the sugars from the caddies up in the air at midnight! Also, don't start fights...if someone spills a little drink on you, let that crap slide. Unless you were a douchebag, more times than not, it was an honest accident.

Trust that we are working as fast as we can to get you your drinks & don't get mad when we ask you for a credit card to hold your tab open. Too many times people drink too much and then oops....they thought their buddies paid the tab. Guess who pays the tab when you do that? Your server...either with their own cash or even clear up to losing his/her job because you walked out on your tab (depending on where the person works)

We also don't determine drink prices, cover charges, payment policies, drink pour limits. Those are almost ALWAYS management decisions.

in general....don't be a douchebag tonight to people who are just trying to earn a paycheck tonight.

I used to do this at the end of every year and then I got out of the habit because I stopped blogging as much. I'm feeling inspired by my beloved friend (and someone who I really turned to as a voice of experience this year) Bonnie Gillespie and her "done dicking around" mantra.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Don't even get me started on all the AWESOME fancy restaurants that I ate at this year: Tom Collichio's Craft, like 3 Top Chef restaurants, Napa Rose and some other smaller places. Let's see I also went to baseball spring training and caught a major league foul ball (i'd previously snagged a minor league ball during batting practice). Moved in with a boyfriend. On a sad note, I also had to witness putting a pet to sleep for the first time, felt the pain of losing a parent and made my first ER visit as an adult. Oh yeah...i became SAG-eligible and did standup comedy for the first time.

2. Did you keep your 2011 resolutions? Will you make resolutions for 2012?
I don't recall. I know we were going to try to do P90x and well that lasted for about a month and then went out the window when Brendan's back started being a bitch and then I started having a mystery groin pain as well.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not personally close to me per se, but Brendan became an uncle.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
that's an understatement. This was the freaking year of the Grim Reaper and I hate it. In fact, I STARTED the year on a down note with the death of one of my very first Los Angeles friends, Chris Ellis on the morning of New Years Eve. Early 30s and he passed away in his sleep . Then I lost my beloved Niedermayer kitty to cancer in April which I thought was the hardest thing I'd ever done. I already knew that Brendan was a keeper, but it sealed the deal when he stayed with Nieder until the very end when I made the difficult decision to put him to sleep (Brendan sent me out of the room before the vet did the final injection). Then my father lost his battle with cancer at the end of October and that was even harder than Niedermayer. Finally, just a month after my father passed away, his best friend (who was in poor health & I was always visit when I was home) passed away as well. I am just blessed that my best friend Kelly escaped death when she walked away practically unscathed after rolling her car on the 134 after some jackass ran in her into the middle divider.

5. What countries did you visit?
just the country of my people...the country of White Trashia (and I took Brendan there to experience as well)

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
fun, happiness without wondering when the rug will be yanked from underneath me, successful career momentum and MOTIVATION...I allowed anxiety and depression to rule my world too often.

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
April 6th and October 25th...the 2 days that cancer reared its ugly head and took pieces of my heart and soul with it back to where it came from. RIP Niedercat and dad. i love you both.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
becoming SAG-eligible and doing standup comedy for the first time....and my father was still alive and coherent enough to savor it.

9. What was your biggest failure?
The only thing i failed at was not taking care of myself and allowing myself to grieve.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Anxiety, depression and other issues related to and caused by those things. I spent about 2 months in agony and I'm just now feeling better. I got scary skinny because I physically couldn't eat, ended up in both physical and mental therapy, but it's a good learning process as well. i can't complain too much because everything wrong with me is treatable.

11. Whose behavior merited celebration?
plain and simple, Brendan....it's a miracle that he didn't leave me especially when I was being crazy for most of November.

12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I have a family member and i'm not going to say who he/she is, but the appalling behavior at my father's visitation & funeral made me want to punch this person in the face. I hope those tears (which were lounder and longer than my own mother's) were because of the guilt this person felt for coming around only ONCE the whole TWO YEARS my father was sick (and a more-than-likely forced visitation at that), but I highly doubt it. They were probably just a histrionic attention-whoring drama-queening/kinging act & that little comment towards another family member when saying goodbye at the post-funeral meal was just uncalled for and insulting. You may not approve of that individual's lifestyle but it's not your place to judge especially when you are in a church! I shouldn't let this person get to me, but said person disgusts me....it may not be today, tomorrow and even the near future, but some day I will have my moment and I will unleash on this person.

13. Where did most of your money go?
shopping, headshots, baseball tickets, airline tickets to visit my dad.

14. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
spring training, sag-eligibility.

15. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Can't think of any right now...i listened to mostly sports radio in the car.

16. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? sadder, but I'm working through it....sadder only because I miss my dad, a lot.
b) thinner or fatter? thinner, but it's not necessarily a bad thing.
c) richer or poorer? Richer....i got out of my hell job at hell downtown and i'm a great job that has been so flexible with accomodating my frequent trips home & my being sick


17. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Relaxed and allowed myself to feel and grieve. also wish I would've been more motivated, been more girlfriendy & less wifey with my boyfriend

18. What do you wish you’d done less of?
bitching, whining, complaining, feeling sorry for myself, slacking on the couch, worrying about every little thing, freaking out over little things, sweating small stuff, scaring the shit out of my loved ones with my anxiety-induced health issues.

19. How will you be spending Christmas?
spent it with Brendan in L.A., it may seem a little strange that I didn't go home to be with my family for my first Xmas without my father, but my mother had my siblings and Brendan couldn't go home due to work, so I didn't want him to be alone. sure he would've had his friends and Ralphie, but I felt we needed to stay strong together.


20. Did you fall in love in 2011?
more and more every day with my Jersey boy


21. What was your favorite TV program?
Brendan got me addicted to Top Chef!

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope, I still pretty much hate the people associated with the drug that resulted in my father's cancer.

23. What was the best book you read?
I wouldn't call it the best book I read, but the most important book I read was "When Parents Die." My boyfriend's brother & sister-in-law bought me after my father passed away

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Can't say I had one this year, so I will go with my greatest sports discovery....FANTASY GAMES! I played baseball and football and well, wouldn't you know it, I'm pretty good at both.

25. What did you want and get?
SAG-eligibility!!! Moving in with my boyfriend and having him meet my father while my father was still well enough to do some things with us

26. What did you want and not get?
My father and cat to live.

27. What was your favorite film of this year?
I can't even remember the films that I watched this year. I did enjoy The Social Network.

28. What did you do on your birthday? How old were you?
Top Chef Tour of Los Angeles: lunch at Michael Voltaggio's ink sack (saw him making sammies, but it was too busy to meet him), pre-dinner drink/appetizer at Antonia Lofaso's Black Market (along with meeting her!) & 7-course personalized chef's table tasting menu dinner at Fabio Viviani's Firenze Osteria (didn't meet Fabio, he was out of town, but he left me a message on twitter that i got after we left dinner). I also got a METRIC SHIT TON of presents! A lady doesn't reveal her age.

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
getting more stuff done.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
the usual: sporty spice....baseball jersey and something cute with it.

31. What kept you sane?
Brendan....and when that wasn't enough ativan and ambien.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
all the conversations that I had with Cleveland Indians baseball players on twitter.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?
not so much a politcal issue as an ethical issue....the fact that the drug that gave my father cancer is STILL being prescribed to people despite the fact that it has been pulled off the market in European countries. Here, it just gets slapped with a warning that it COULD cause cancer....could!?!? try does and there's a reason why there's now a class action suit against the makers of this drug because that COULD has happened to MANY MANY MANY people who have taken that drug.

34. Who did you miss?
all the loved ones I lost.

35. Who was the best new person you met?
My loving new co-workers.

36. What valuable life lesson did you learn in 2011?
Relax, allow yourself to feel, that it's definitely time to grow up in some senses. it's okay to cry and feel vunerable. living with someone is compromise, not to be so me-centric and allow other people into my life.

37. What song lyrics sum up your year?
I got nothing here, so I'll go with a sport reference. if you're having a bad game, allow your teammates to carry you to victory.

So I popped into a store today to get someone a Xmas present. This store is having a "Buy One, Get One Free" promotion, but they also have other items that are also discounted which are a little more suited for the price range I had in mind. The first salesman tells me that the latter is online only & that I won't be able to get them by Xmas (wrong! actually today is the last day for Xmas arrival). He then proceeds to give me similar items for $70 and $80 with the pitch "well it's more but you're getting 2 for that price so it's like paying only $35-40 for each one". Keyword: like!

Now neither one of my college degrees are in mathematics & I'm no Danica McKellar, but I can clearly see the lack of logic in that statement. While, yes, it's less per shirt since I'm getting buy one, get one free, but i'm still spending more money than i told you I planned to spend. Also, if I get 2 of the discounted items I want in the first place, it's still less than the 1 single item that you want me to purchase. He continues to try to put the full-court press on me with regards to these items. I wait for him to wander off somewhere else in the store and then I walk out (after I research certain aspects/options for comparable items). Now as I'm leaving the store I notice a computer kiosk in the middle of the store, I go to another store for some other things and then I pop back into this store, but I find a different sales person & ask if I can use this kiosk since the online Xmas shipping ends at 3pm my time and I won't make it home in time (small lie, but sometimes you have to tell these during the holidays to all kinds of people)

This guy was much better. Totally walked me through the process, checked on me while I was placing the order and then another guy even gave me some boxes to put my order in when it arrived at my home.

Seriously, why is customer service lacking in this country? If I pulled this crap the first guy pulled at my job, I'd be fired. I'm all for upselling (hell, i'm the queen of it....very few people have me serve them shitty well liquor drinks at my tavern because I'm very persuasive when it comes to that). Still, if the customer has their heart/mind set on something, just give them what they want, not the item that is going to look more impressive on your sales figures.